How to manage your mental health this Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is around the corner, and thanks to COVID, this year, thanksgiving will be one unique experience.   From the thanksgiving parades nationwide, to the gathering, not to forget, even the size of the birds will be down-sized this year. 

A survey conducted by the American Psychological Association (APA), concluded that about 38% of individuals reported stress as the main reason for their mental health to plummet down during thanksgiving.   Moreover, the year 2020 has posed unique challenges to any festivities by imposing a year-long pandemic, along with its uninvited, travel restrictions, the uncomfortable mask mandates, the quarantine and the isolation along with its associated feelings of loneliness.

Challenges

• Many are expected to be spending the holiday away from family and friends due to COVID-19–related travel restrictions or safety concerns.
• Many will be forced to put up with the trauma of an ‘empty chair’ this thanksgiving, thanks to the lives lost; the pent-up emotions of sadness, anger, resentment, and maybe even guilt about the loss and, yes, joy and sweetness and gratitude that the person was in your life may throw your mental health into further turmoil
• Awkward interactions with unpleasant friends and relatives that you are forced to meet and encounter may throw you off balance
• Women are also known to stress about certain social standards they are expected to meet during festivities: expectations to maintain a clean house, parenting, entertaining, cooking, baking and the list goes on. 
• Not to mention the financial constraints imposed by the social expectations during the season; this year especially, meeting those expectations will be challenging, thanks to the loss of jobs and small businesses, budgeting for the season is going to be a huge stressor.

No matter what you are going through, this Thanksgiving is an opportunity to think outside the box.  No matter what you are going through this year, remember, there are always to be grateful about.

I have put together a few tips to help you with your thanksgiving festivities while taking care of your mental health

Think outside the box

If you are lucky enough to be living in warmer climate areas, plan an outdoor thanksgiving dinner.  Get your patio or your backyard ‘Thanksgiving ready’, with traditional décor.  Plan smaller gathering with your absolute must loved ones, preferably 2-3 smaller tables rather than one huge table.  Outdoor heaters and cozy throws should help make up for the colder weather.   Give your oven a break this Thanksgiving and cozy up around your grill for barbecued turkey, sweet potatoes and corn.

Plan a virtual Thanksgiving

Plan a virtual thanksgiving meal where all the family and friends can eat together at the same time while sharing recipes and tales.  This is especially good when friends and relatives can’t make it due to travel restrictions this year.

However, if you have family and friends living in the same city, you can still plan a exchange of treats and favorite foods where each family decides and prepares a dish, makes individual packs for participating families and exchanges them with each other.  Then, on a designated time, each family can open their packs and join virtually on the big pot meal at the same time.

Plan according to your budget

Stress can affect your mental well-being in a most undesirable manner, add to that the financial burdens the festivities can add; and your stress hormones are on the top notch.   Prepare in advance for your Thanksgiving; make room for unexpected purchases- things that normally aren’t your monthly budget. Do not forget the simpler seeming things like the decorations and the favors if any. Once you create your budget, stick with it!  And remember; it’s ok to scale your menu back a bit.  Consider halving recipes and making fewer sides and desserts. And again, it is not a crime to order some dishes from your local restaurant or supermarket, if that will help relieve the stress and the burden.

Prioritize your mental health and self-care.

Guests, festivities and entertainment are all good but not at the cost of your mental health.  Try to get enough sleep the night before.   Delegate chores to each of your family members well in advance.  If you take daily medicine, stick to them.  Place reminders on your phone if necessary.  Avoid the urge to go in for an extra drink to cope with stress. Practice journaling your feelings of gratitude. You may use the printable template given here or use your own

 

Gather around the table and count your blessings.  Each one names a blessing and the process continues.  Start from the least to the biggest.  There is enough evidence in the literature to prove that feelings of gratitude beget positive mental energy.  Feelings of gratitude blocks negative joy draining emotions, such as envy, resentment, and regret while promoting resilience and improving self-worth.  You can practice the art of gratitude well in advance by participating in this 5-Day gratitude challenge here:

https://www.facebook.com/anithasaramenezes-100590915032555/

Practice positive affirmations.  Your words have the power to heal or to wound.  Positive affirmations are proven to help maintain your mental equilibrium.  You can find a printable list of them here:

You can find some of the healthy stress management techniques here

When Stress Becomes too Stressful…….

If you are grieving for someone who died this year, it is normal to feel lost and confused during the festivities.  However, only you can decide what is best for you.   Does being alone make the festive season all the harder to bear?  Do the festivities, the entertainment and the guests make you feel overwhelmed? Talk to your immediate family members and ask them to support you in whichever decision you make.

Dealing with toxic family dynamics

As with every other time, thanksgiving is also a time to stick to your personal boundaries. 

Remember you cannot control other people’s attitudes; you can only control your own reactions to others behaviors and attitudes.

Learn to say ‘no’ to people who do not contribute to your happiness.

If an uncomfortable family gathering is inevitable, know your limits.  Set a arriving time and a departing time well in advance and stick to the basics.   If you have a disruptive family member, take initiative and guide the conversation.   Refrain from forcing yourself to attend functions out of obligation.  Limit alcohol in your gatherings.

Important note:  If at any time you feel yourself getting triggered do not hesitate to simply take a few, long, deep breaths and excuse yourself from the conversation.

When faced with a dysfunctional family gathering, it is also important to plan ahead and structure the time you spend together.  Plan activities that your family can do or play together.  Karaoke, puzzles, monopoly or bingo will help keep the structure.

Donate to those in need

This year has posed many a heartache; thanks to the Pandemic and its many implications.  Many have lost their lives, their jobs and their finances.  Consider donating to your favorite charity.  No matter what your circumstances are, each one can come up with something to give.  You can volunteer your time, money, used or unused goods.  Last year, one of my co-workers made individual meal packets and delivered them personally to those in need.  Think of what you can do.

Your takeaway:

• Plan outdoor gatherings
• Virtual gatherings are the new norm
• Be budget-wise
• Prioritize self-care
• Plan ahead if you have to deal with toxic family members
• Donate to those in need
• Do you have any ideas to share? I would love to know your thoughts and unique ideas in the comments below