When Stress Becomes too Stressful…….

Everywhere I see; Everyone I know- my own family and friends, neighbors and co-workers seem so pre-occupied with the political situation plaguing the nation at the moment.  I see people glued to their phones, busy on social media feeds, desperately discussing topics and arguing the environment, the battle with racism, the global pandemic, the president, the government, the national security, and the future of our economic situation.

Stress is everywhere!  In our day to day environment, in the people we surround ourselves with, in our school, in our workplace, in our commitments, and guess what; in our own bodies that we live in; day in and day out!

So much so that I have begun to wonder if the second wave that is predicted will actually be mental health?

So, how much stress is too much stress?

Our bodies act as shock-absorbers during the most stressful situations; often triggering the flight or fight response; but too much stress for too long can make us unwell; reflecting in physical, emotional and mental changes.

Ask yourself these questions…….

Do I often complain of muscle tension and cramps, migraines and headaches, bloating and indigestion, pains and aches?

Have I been more dependent on nicotine, coffee, alcohol or any illegal drugs?

Have I been over-eating- not eating lately?

Have I been lacking the motivation or the initiative to take care of myself, meet with friends, or do the activities that I previously liked?

Do I get angry or irritable more often, burst out at my friends or family or just feel overwhelmed all the time?

Have I been having restless sleep lately leading to being tired throughout the day?

Have I been having problems related to my memory and concentration?

We live in a world of expectations, where more is always considered ‘the better’, where we are consumed with expectations and deadlines every moment of our lives, where in the process of making a living, we often forget to live.

Put on your armor and face your dragons!!!

Trying to ignore your stressors may provide you temporary relief but in the long run may just make things worse.

Here are some of the signs you may be trying to run away from your stressors:

-Consuming too much alcohol, caffeine or using illegal substances

-Binge shopping/spending beyond your means

-Binge eating

Ignoring debts/bills

Know your triggers!!!

Make a list of all the things/factors that increase your stress levels!

What activity increases your stress level?

Does your stress level increase around a certain person or people?

It could be beneficial to keep a stress diary to help you understand your triggers and coping strategies better

Is your career or job really in line with your personality and interests?

Have been taking important decisions that increase your stress?

What are your coping strategies?

Funny as it may seem; dealing with stress can actually be hard work.   It requires you to wake up, eat well and sleep well; and to make a decision to actively conquer your stress.  It means to get rid of all the stressors in your life; to stay away from every toxic influencer, to cut back on things that are bad effect on you.   It means to indulge in healthy and relaxing activities, to learn to think positively and practice gratitude. 

Deep breathing and Meditation:

Deep breathing is one of the time tested and widely researched ways to lower stress. Deep breathing when done properly sends a message to your brain to calm down and relax. Recently I came across an wonderful article by Navita Bhatia which talks in depth about how deep breathing positively impacts stress reduction.

You may read the article here:

http://towardsbetterlifestyle.com/how-does-deep-breathing-reduce-stress/?fbclid=IwAR0oyjFGKUZwozOLWR2OzdTesbJdyBKvYXX_mvWCXCbjtCNhHwT6Utdd_ZM

Journaling:

Journaling is another stress buster coping mechanism which has helped people through the ages. It enables a person to organize his/her thoughts, clear the clutter in one’s mind and provides direction to one’s goals.

To read more about journaling, check on the link below: It is an in-depth article written by Sonia Bhatwani which speaks about how you can heal through the art of Journaling

https://soniamotwani.com/healing-through-journaling

Know your support system:

Who are the people in your life that help you build, that stand by you no matter what, people whom you can rely upon through thick and thin?  If you can’t think of any at this point, think of the positive influencers in your life, the role models for healthy behavior, the support providers.  Look for them in the church you attend, or any support groups that you go to, or just the mental health professional that has helped you in the past.

Make and cultivate new friends.  Good, healthy friendships can be the best stress busters, therefore, make time for your friends.  Set a time together for fun activities; for an ‘all girls or an all-boys day out’.

Eat a healthy diet:

Never under estimate the power of a balanced meal to combat stress!

Check your caffeine and alcohol intake:  Stimulants such as coffee, tea, energy drinks and alcohol may give a short-term boost; but will increase your stress levels in the long run.

Keep hydrated:   Aim to drink at least 1-1.5 liters of water throughout the day to keep yourself hydrated.

Do not skip meals. Ensure that you start your day with a healthy breakfast; eat regularly small, regular meals will help to maintain energy levels and mood, while decreasing tiredness and irritability.

Emotional eating:   Don’t eat while stressed.  Stress diverts blood flow away from your digestive system, leading to bloating and gas making one become prone to discomfort.  Avoid binge eating.

Say ‘no’ to unnecessary tasks and people

As difficult as it may seem, it is necessary to say ‘no’.    Your commitments, your dedication, the people in your life are all so important; but so is your mental health.  So why is this simple act of being true to yourself so hard?

Insider Tips to say ‘no’ and let others know that you mean it:

Let your ‘no’ be ‘no’; No negotiations allowed.

Don’t apologize when it comes to your mental health.  Be firm.  Be sympathetic.  But make your stand clear.  Do not mislead.  Do not make promises that will be hard to keep; or that will disrupt your life.

Don’t provide unnecessary excuses; but make a matter of fact statement.  The people who matter will understand; “I do not feel comfortable going along with this” should suffice to clarify your stand.

Get enough sleep:

What is it that keeps you awake during the night?  Is it the caffeine that you consumed during the day?  Is it your addiction to internet and technology?  Is there some pressing worry that doesn’t let you sleep?  Your deadlines?  Your job expectations?

Sort out through your list of insomnia triggers.  Operating on a sleep deficit not just increases stress levels but also creates havoc with your mental health, making you less productive in the long run.

Unclutter your schedule:  Prioritize your roles and responsibilities and the hours of your day.

 Don’t underestimate the benefits of a power nap when ever possible.  Turn off your gadgets and internet or any stimulating reading material at least 1 hour before your scheduled sleep time.  If you have to; go for your sleep aids after you have run out of other options.

Do whatever you have to; to get back on your sleep-wake schedule.

Say ‘no’ to negativity in any form:

Practice positivity.  Get rid of all negative feelings, thoughts and revenge attitudes.  Practice forgiveness and gratitude.  If somewhere along the life’s journey, you have grown pessimistic, you might have actually missed out on some of the most interesting things in life; enabling you to….

-perform lower than your capabilities

-over think

-experience ‘impending doom’.

Stop telling yourself that it is impossible.  The word impossible itself implies, ‘I AM POSSIBLE’.

Drop the label

-Stop telling yourself that ‘you are unworthy’ or ‘Nothing good can ever happen to me’ or ‘I am not sporty enough’. 

There was a time when I was rejected for a teaching position, saying that “I couldn’t engage a group of 25 or more adults”.  Well, when opportunity did not knock on my door; I decided to build my own door.  I created this blog that will help educate not tens, or hundreds, but millions!

Setbacks and failure are temporary!

A positive attitude is what will keep you going in the long run!

Have a ‘go to’ activity:

It is at times like these that you need to inculcate a ‘go to’ activity or coping strategy to help deal with stress.

Develop a regular habit; in the form of a hobby, some sort of exercise, a tension-relieving practice, something that you can turn to, that would instantly calm you down; in times of stress.  Choose something that goes well with your lifestyle or personality.  Will a spa treatment or a simple pedicure calm you down?  How about a comedy TV show or watching your favorite star on-screen?  Many have taken to journaling, gardening, board games, dancing, drawing or painting to help relax.

The tough ones with a little more energy will love a quick run, jogging, a brisk walk, gym or simple skip roping within the comforts of your home.

Stress buster kit:

Have an instant stress buster kit ready at a convenient place at all times; let it contain things that stimulate your senses and help you relax at all levels:

Tune in with your senses

If you are the kind of person to stress easily, have a stress buster kit or a tool box handy.

What goes into your stress buster kit?

Some soothing, oils or lotions with your favorite scents

Scented candles

Music:  While some calm soothing music has helped many a person relax, don’t just stick to it; go for rap, country or whatever excites you!

Traditional stress balls or your favorite stuffed animals

Gum, candy or something to chew on

Memories/pictures of your loved ones or of moments that made you laugh

In conclusion;

As you begin to make changes, take notes on what works best for you.  There is no one solution that fits all!   Consider using a journal or a phone app to track the effectiveness of your strategies and generate motivation.    Also speak to someone about your stress reduction goals, so they can help you maintain accountability. 

Stressful situations will always be a part of your life’s journey; but how you react to it will ultimately make the difference.  With the right mindset, and a firm determination you can regain control over your mind and body.