Adult ADHD- A character flaw or a real illness?

ADHD is the most commonly diagnosed mental illness in children but did you know that about 4.4% of adults are diagnosed with ADHD in US alone?  Unfortunately, only 20% of those end up getting professional help.    Others may continue living their lives, wondering if they could have done anything better in their relationships, if they could have worked harder staying organized, sticking to their plans and managing to stay employed. 

ADHD- A character flaw or a real illness?

ADHD is a syndrome of the brain manifested mainly due to a abnormal brain chemistry, brain structure, and the connectivity of their neurons.   Plainly said, an individual suffering from ADHD has no control over the development of their symptoms, but with proper support and treatment, one can learn to effectively go about their day-to-day responsibilities.

What does ADHD in adults look like?

ADHD is not the same for everyone:  at times it might seem like:

Negative self-image

• limiting yourself or not working to your full potential just to avoid failure, negative events can trigger intense, even frightening emotions making you lose sight of your worth in relationships, or life in general.  This may further lead to misusing substances with intent to self-medicate for

improving focus, improving sleep and relieving anxiety

Hyper focus/Lack of focus

• when you find a topic or task engaging, you really can perform and even excel. Like exceptionally so. Everyone sees this and uses that as your benchmark and then assumes that when you fail at a boring task it is because you are weak-willed.
•  having trouble processing, controlling or calming your emotions
•  Inability to ignore irrelevant noises, conversations around you even during an important meeting;
• endless procrastinating to avoid something difficult or uncomfortable

Feelings of overwhelm and anxiety

1. It feels like you’re being attacked in all areas of your daily life; simple sounds, lights, colors and sensory things can be overwhelming.  The ADHD wears you down but it’s the secondary psychological impact that hits you the hardest. You get judged by your friends, colleagues, teachers, partners and relatives as being weak in character or lazy. And you don’t know if they are right. Eventually you believe them. The only honest answer you ever have for giving someone about why you stuffed up is “I don’t know”.

Restlessness

• Restless mind:  You think too fast, react too fast, act too fast, drive too fast, speak without thinking, even interrupting others while talking.
• Restless body:  trouble waiting in long lines without feeling restless or irritable, moving constantly, keep tapping their hands or feet and inability to sit comfortably.

Impulsivity

• You impulsively start multiple assignments or projects without considering all the steps involved, get frustrated or bored and never remember to go back to it

Disorganization

• Paperwork might make up a major part of your disorganization, you have trouble organizing your tasks, schedule, finances, home, car, relationships and everything else.  You have mail that is piled up from weeks, you have bills and invoices scattered all over the place, your paperwork at office keep adding up occupying most of your workplace…..

Poor working memory

• You routinely forget where you’ve put something or what important dates you need to keep, may have difficulty with recalling, focusing, organization, and distinguishing between important and unimportant cues, especially at workplace.  On a personal note, you forget birthdays and anniversaries, making managing relationships difficult.

Poor sense of time

• Poor sense of time or time blindness may manifest itself in different forms; late getting out of bed, late sitting down for dinner with your family, late leaving the office or arriving at appointments.  It’s unintentional failure to view time as linear, concrete, or even finite

Difficulty maintaining relationships

• Relationships may seem like a daunting task; frequently forgetting important tasks and dates, explosive emotions, easily getting bored or inability to focus on conversations may make maintaining relationships hard, making the person come across as indifferent or negligent.  

Tips for Managing Adult ADHD

  ADHD can make it more challenging to plan, prioritize and work to deadlines and yet more often than not, when given the right support and inspiration, people with ADHD can be very creative and innovative.  I remember a friend once, who did not let a diagnosis of ADHD keep her from finding ingenious solutions, or thrive in chaotic or the most challenging situations.  She was one of the most resourceful and resilient persons I have ever met.

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder can create problems in all areas of your life. But these tips can help you cope with symptoms, get focused, and turn chaos into calm. You can improve your daily habits, learn to recognize and use your strengths, and develop techniques that help you work more efficiently, maintain organization, and interact better with others. Part of helping yourself may also include educating others to help them understand what you’re going through.

Change won’t happen overnight, though. These ADHD self-help strategies require practice, patience, and, perhaps most importantly, a positive attitude. But by taking advantage of these techniques, you can become more productive, organized, and in control of your life—and improve your sense of self-worth.

Manage your time wisely

Managing your time wisely and being there on time for appointments, whether personal or official can relieve you of much of your stress.

• Learn to be a clock watcher. 
• Get yourself a timer and allot yourself specific amount of time to complete each of your tasks.  Most importantly, stick to it.  
•  When you have an important appointment coming up; give yourself a few extra minutes to get there. 
• Set up reminders on your phone to remind you of your appointment well in advance. Effective use of a day planner or a calendar on your smartphone or computer can help you remember appointments and deadlines. With electronic calendars, you can also set up automatic reminders so scheduled events don’t slip your mind
• If there is a specific task that needs to be completed, or a phone call that needs to be returned, deal with it now. Avoid stress, forgetfulness and procrastination by filing papers, cleaning up messes, or returning phone calls immediately, instead of keep it for later.    Color co-ordinate your files and folders if that helps you remember better.  If it can be done now; probability is, it should be done now. 
• Use a bulletin board or computer reminder list for announcements and other memory triggers

Minimize distractibility at work

The hallmark traits of ADHD are lack of focus and distractibility—but with a little effort, you can get things done.  Most workplaces are good about accommodating people with disabilities if you choose to disclose them; but try these strategies yourself to see what helps you the most:

• Ask yourself this question:  what distracts you the most?  External factors such as noise, ringing telephone, people talking, people passing by?  Internal factors, such as your daydreams? 
• Minimize external distractions by coming in early or staying in late if your company allows it.   By having a few minutes to yourself at the beginning or the end of the day, you can try to have your important tasks accomplished. 
• Program your computer to remind you of important appointments and deadlines.
• Organize your office or desk, one manageable task at a time.  Try storing things inside a bin or a desk to reduce clutter and avoid unnecessary distractions.  Face your desk towards a plain wall and have a clock at a central location on that wall.  When you need to get an important task done, try to discourage interruptions, let voicemail pick up your phone calls and return them later, if necessary, let your co-workers know that you need to focus on something important.
• Try to break down large tasks into smaller subset of tasks and vow to complete each component at a specific time frame.
• Refrain from getting into a new task until you complete your current task.
• If your distractibility comes from within; “white noise” earphones, soft music or other sounds should help you with distracting thoughts and daydreams.
• Avoid the temptation to interrupt during meetings with any new or big ideas that may come to you.  Instead jot them down in your note book and get back to them later and communicate more effectively

Manage your finances wisely

Create your own system to manage your money; that is simple and consistent, to help you get on top of your finances.  The goal here is to stop to overspending, overdue bills, and penalties for missed deadlines.

• Keep track of your every expense, no matter how trivial.  Assign a day every month to analyze where actually your money is going.  Have you been spending plenty of time on a particular restaurant?  Or Starbucks?  Can you allot a few minutes each day for meal prep?  Or make coffee at home?
• Making use of online banking will help you reduce paper clutter subsequently reducing overwhelm in the long run.   It will have all your deposits and payments listed at one place, making it easier to track your money.
• Set up automatic payments whenever feasible.  This will help stop overdue payments when you forget to pay at regular schedules.
• Stop impulsive shopping

Shopping impulsively can land you in huge un- needed debts, making you feel guilty and regret later. Try a few of these strategies to avoid impulsive buying:

• Make a list of what you need and stick to it
• Try shopping with cash.  Take exactly the amount of money you need so you don’t end up binge shopping
• When you feel the urge to buy something, try delaying to buy.  Give yourself time to think and analyze one more week before buying.

Manage your forgetfulness

• Leave visual reminders at home and at work.  Have an important project lined up?  Place it on top of your computer, so you do not end up doing tasks due next year. Need to take the trash out? Place it in front of the doorway so you do not forget it.  Keep forgetting to take your medicines?  Keep them on your dining table or in your lunch box, so they are a part of your meal routine.
• When at a meeting, take down notes and date your notes.  Prioritize the tasks that need to be accomplished first.  If you have missed something, someone has said, leave a blank place and do not forget to ask them about it later. 
• Make a list for each day.  Make another list for the entire week.  Before the end of the day, revisit your list.  By the end of the week, make sure all your tasks for the week have been completed. 
• Ask friends or family members for help when you need to remember important dates and events.  Have them remind you in advance, when they need you to be ready for an accession.

Curb your impulsivity

• Ask for regular, constructive feedback from your employer so you can be aware of any behaviors that need changing.  This will also help provide awareness about how your impulsivity may affect your work or your colleagues.
• Recognize the situations or people around whom you tend to act on impulse—and prepare for them. That might mean bringing a stress ball to important meetings or having notebooks to write in to avoid impulsive interrupting There may be occasions where it’s OK to be spontaneous and talkative, and other times when it could cost you a job or a relationship.
• Practice paraphrasing what your colleague or family member said to you: “You want to know more about….” That will give you much needed time to think and frame your response instead of impulsively blurting out something you might regret later.
• Use sincere humor to make light of slip up.  Acknowledge and accept.  “Oops; there goes my ADHD talking or acting up again.   I truly apologize. I made a mistake.  I will try to do better next time.”

Self-Care for adults with ADHD

• Exercise is one of the most positive and efficient way to reduce hyperactivity and inattention from ADHD. A good outdoor workout can help work off that excess energy and relieve stress levels.  In addition, exercise is also known to boost your mood, and calm your mind, making you feel more stable.
• Mindfulness exercises, mindful walking or yoga will help you slow your mind down to stop the negative thinking. Practice breathing in slowly through your nose to a count of 10. Feel your abdomen rise as you breathe in, then release each breath slowly as you concentrate only on your breathing.
• Getting enough sleep is another important aspect of stress relief.  To get enough sleep, means cutting down on caffeine, getting enough exercise, and keeping a strict schedule for going to bed and getting up.   Maintain this schedule even on weekends and holidays.
• Figure out what situations cause you increased fear and panic? Does a deadline cause you to completely shut down? Do complex projects overwhelm you?  If you think, you need more supervision or someone to hold you more accountable, do not be afraid to ask.  At work, find a supportive colleague who will hold you accountable.   At home, work with a friend, spouse, or neighbor.

In conclusion, it is possible for people with ADHD to live a normal, productive life.  Some do well in their careers while others struggle with poor communication skills, distractibility, procrastination and difficulty managing complex projects.   Use these strategies to help you cope with your distractibility and impulsivity.  Seek help from a career counselor or a psychologist to help you cope if necessary.  No two individuals with ADHD are same. Each one goes through a different set of challenges.  Key is in being self-aware.   It  is important to consider your unique picture, as you go about designing strategies, accommodations and modifications in your personal as well as in your professional life.