Mental Health Stigma: Let’s break the cycle

Mental health conditions are not something that happens to an unlucky few.  According to National Alliance on Mental Illnesses (NAMI),

1 in 5 U.S. adults experience mental illness each year

1 in 25 U.S. adults experience serious mental illness each year

1 in 6 U.S. youth aged 6-17 experience a mental health disorder each year

50% of all lifetime mental illness begins by age 14, and 75% by age 24.

Therefore, it is high time we realized that just as with most diseases, mental illnesses are no one’s fault.   The unusual behavior’s thoughts and speech that you see in those with mental illnesses are the symptoms-not the cause!

Know that mental illnesses are perfectly treatable.   The unusual behaviors associated with some illnesses are symptoms of the disease – not the cause. Most importantly, whether at home or in your work place, among your friends or associates when you come across a person with a mental illness, know how to talk or communicate with the person.  Insensitive comments, either intentional or through ignorance hurt nonetheless.

What not to say to someone with a complex mental health issue.

I interviewed a few people with different mental health conditions and asked them about some of the most hurtful comments or unsolicited advice they have ever received.  The most common of them were:

“It’s all in your head”

“You’re just looking for attention”

Some said they have been called all kinds of names ranging from manipulative, vindictive, and attention seeking to being over dramatic or sensitive.

Then there are the seemingly well-meaning acquaintances, saying “Everyone goes through this at one time or another.  So, cheer up now” or “Get a good night’s sleep”  “Be positive”

And there are advice givers coming up with, “Have you tried herbal medicine or yoga?”  or “Why don’t you get a job and keep yourself occupied?” 

Mental health conditions are often complex wearing a person out and draining him emotionally and physically when not properly addressed.  Don’t assume a person with a mental health condition is just lazy or doesn’t want to get better.  It not only causes unnecessary distress but can also further impede their motivation. 

Do not invalidate a person’s symptoms by just calling them names.  Just because you do not understand it doesn’t make it any less real for the person experiencing it.  Tagging them with labels just re-enforces their belief that they are not good enough and increases their feeling of worthlessness.  You have no insight into what they are feeling, so you should never invalidate them. 

Do not dismiss someone’s symptoms, know that not all mental illness is the same.  Symptoms differ.  The way people respond to symptoms also differs.  Not everyone has the same coping strategies.  So, avoid dismissing a person’s symptoms or undermining them.

People normally are more empathetic towards those suffering from heart diseases or cancer.  It’s time we showed the same empathy, respect and concern towards someone suffering from a mental health condition.  Know that not all scars are visible.  It’s not always a bid for attention or manipulation.

Change your vocabulary!  Change your mindset!

Help your loved one’s cope with mental illness

One of my interviewee’s had this to say, “Instead of asking me if I had been to a doctor, I would have appreciated it better if someone would have just said, “I found this good doctor in town, when shall I make an appointment?” while another person said, “I wish someone would just hold my hand and sit beside me and listen”.  I remember one of my patients’ saying to me, “The best thing my dear friend ever did to me was to invite me over to his house, when he knew I couldn’t handle it myself.  He not just invited me, but came over to pick me up and had my favorite mac n cheese ready”.  I knew right then that there was my reason to live; to keep going”.

What to say to a person suffering from mental illness?

“Is there any way I can help?”

“I don’t understand it, but know that I am here for you”

“I know things will get better.  I will help you get there”

“Do you want to talk about it?  We could go to some place quiet and nice”

“It’s okay if you need to cancel our plans tonight.  I understand”

“Can I help you with your laundry?”  “Can I bring some home cooked meal for you?”  “Can I drive you to your appointment today?”

How to address delusions and hallucinations?

1. Speak clearly.  One sentence at a time.   It prevents mis-interpretation and confusion
2. Clarify: “I know it may seem real to you, but——I do not see/hear anyone here.  Be honest about your own perceptions.  Do not attempt to talk them out of their reality.
3. Be non-defensive when dealing with paranoia.  Clarify your stand/actions simply and in a neutral manner.
4. People experiencing paranoia may actually be scared.  Maintain physical distance and space.  Ask before you approach or touch”
5. Be accepting; Be firm; Be consistent.  “I cannot listen to you if you yell”.  “I need to be at work at 9am.  But I can spend 30minutes talking to you before I leave”
6. Avoid power struggles. 
7. Mental illness is not related to their intelligence level or IQ quotient.  Do not lie to them.

Do you have a story to share? I would love to know about it in the comments! Together lets end this stigma today!