How to keep yourself grounded in distressing times

Do you sometimes find that your mind is overwhelmed with thoughts that it makes you difficult to focus?

Or, right before your office presentation, your heart feels like it will beat right out of your chest?

Or, after a nightmare, your mind is in a turmoil with no relief in sight?

If any of this sounds familiar, know that you are not alone.

Next time when you experience a painful memory or a flashback, or wake up from your sleep after a distressing nightmare, or you find yourself compounded in emotions you cannot control, practice some grounding techniques given below, to help you compose yourself.

What is grounding?

Grounding or earthing techniques are physical or mental actions that distract you from oncoming anxiety, distress or fear.

“When we are grounded in our awareness, we can be more present with what we are experiencing in our bodies — in all the spaces that live between our head and our feet.”
― Raegan Robinson

You may feel ungrounded when you

• Find yourself in a workplace or situation that does not align with your principles or values
• When you try to take on more responsibilities than you can handle
• Feel overwhelmed with strong emotions, thoughts, fears or memories
• Or after a traumatic life event

Grounding helps you focus on your senses, body or physical surroundings rather than the problem or the emotion.  For people suffering with post-traumatic stress disorders, nightmares or flashbacks, grounding or earthing exercises help you bring you back down to earth. The more you practice, the easier it becomes to gain that sense of calm in the present moment.

Types of grounding exercises

Just as there is no single medicine that will cure all ailments, there is no one technique that works on all people.  Likewise, different occasions demand different grounding techniques.  Make a personal list of these exercises that could work for you.  Practice these techniques when you feel better, so you have the tool ready for the not so good days.

The age-old 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique:

This technique is designed to ease your state of mind so that you can get through stressful moments. It gets you to use all your five senses to help you get back to the present and avoid anxious thoughts that can get in the way of your progress.

Sit comfortably on your chair, close your eyes and taking a couple of deep breathes. Inhale through your nose (count to 3), exhale through your mouth (to the count of 3).

Now open your eyes and look around you.

Concentrate and name:

5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window.  It could be the stapler on your desk or that mug of coffee.  Or the blinking traffic light outside your window)

4 – things you can feel (the texture of clothes on your body, the texture of the material on your chair, the feel of cold metal perhaps?

3 – things you can hear (traffic noise or the rain outside?  The humming of the fax machine or the whistling of your rice cooker?  Even the quietest of rooms have their own sounds.  Tune in to listen to them when you are quiet and actually listening things in your room constantly make a noise but typically, we don’t hear them).

2 – things you can smell (hopefully nothing awful!)

1 – thing you can taste (Imagine yourself take a small bite of your favorite food, or you may actually eat some chocolate if you have it handy and let it swill around your mouth for a couple of seconds, really savoring the flavor).

Take a deep breath to end.

 Grounding with nature:

When was the last time you walked barefoot?

Ditch your shoes and notice how the ground feels.  Feel the skin to earth connection and savor the moment. How does the ground feel? Smooth?  Damp?  Ticklish?  Immerse yourself in the nature around you.  Listen to the rustling of the leaves or the sounds the birds make.

Next time, you are at the park, or a beach, simply lay down on the grass or on the sand.  Let the earth heal you of the negative emotions that overwhelm you.

Likewise, swimming is another exercise to ground yourself.  Immersing yourself in the sounds of the ocean, or even the feeling of smooth river stones beneath your feet is a nice way of earthing or grounding.

Earthing in your office:

What if you are in the confines of your office with no way out?

Take a moment to relax as you sit straight on your chair.  If doable, remove your shoes and let your feet touch the ground.  Shift your focus on your feet, feel the energy draining down from your mind, through your body and down into the ground.  Envision your anger, your fears, or your overwhelming emotions flowing away as you let your tense muscles relax and let the heaviness flow down your legs, through your feet and down into the ground.

Breathe.  Concentrate on your breathing.  Inhale deeply, feeling your belly and your lungs.  Then release.    Along with your breath, release those distressing thoughts.

This comes with practice.

Similarly, hold or touch something that is within your reach.  Grab that paperweight, challenge yourself to think about its texture, the way it feels in your hands, its weight and temperature.

Or simply take a pen and roll it between pinched fingertips. Concentrate on the sensations these objects bring?  Put these sensations into words.  Cold?  Dainty? Sharp? Is the eraser buoyant?

There are several ways ground yourself or mentally distract yourself from your distressing thoughts. Think about your favorite color. How many different shades of that color can you see right now in your office?  Look outside your window.  Do you see those varying shades of purple that you so love?

Perhaps colors do not intrigue you.  You are an intellectual person.  I have a technique for that too. Challenge your mind and count backwards by 7, starting at 100. The further you go counting, the further you are from your negative thoughts.

Grounding at home:

Are you in your home fretting on the unwashed dishes in your sink?

Why not convert the never-ending task of dish washing into a grounding technique?  Try engaging your senses when you wash those dishes.  Focus on the temperature of water.  How does it feel against your skin?  Is it too hot?  Too cold?  Think of all the ways water purifies.

Memories.  Look at the picture on your night stand. Close your eyes and try to remember as much detail as you can about it.  When was it taken?  What did you feel then?  Who’s in that picture? 

What was your most favorite song or poem in your childhood?  Do you still remember the words?

Play the memory game.  Think about a category (different breeds of your pet, or makes of car) and try to name as many as possible within a given time frame.

A dose of self-compassion: What would you say to a friend who was feeling the same way you are now? Try repeating the same things to yourself.  Keep a list of positive affirmations ready for moments such as these.  Phrases like ‘You are strong”, “you can do this”, “You are stronger than your fear”, “I believe in you” can go a long way in improving your sense of self-worth. Say it like you mean it!

Soothing Music: Listen to your favorite song, focus on its words, the voice, the singer. What feelings is this song generating? What stands out to you the most? Feel the music move you. Let emotions come up and out, don’t stuff them in.

Touch: Touch something that brings you a sense of comfort and security. Feel the warmth of your favorite banket or your snuggly sweater. 

 Pet your pet and immerse yourself in the comfort it provides.

Or soak yourself with your favorite scents in your bathtub.  Feel the bubbles on your body.

Mindful eating: Contrary to binge eating while depressed, practice mindful eating.  Turn off your devices and screens.   Focus on the food before you. Embrace the smells, the texture and the taste.   Chew thoroughly. Not only will it make a difference in your physical health, but will also elevate your mood.

Concluding thoughts:

Like all good things in life, grounding requires patience, perseverance and practice. When you keep going, you are sure to feel empowered and good.  Practice makes perfect. It takes time to master these techniques and feel truly grounded.  Just like you would monitor your scale when on a weight reducing program, rate your negative emotions before and after.  See the progress.  It will keep you motivated.